Death And Peanut Inevitability
Illogical numbers show that human death keeps the peanut industry alive and kicking.
My personal survey of at least eight funerals in the last three years has revealed strong evidence to support this theory: no fresher peanuts-in-shells exist anywhere else than at Singapore funerals.
They just are that way, because they never have to keep.
Last year, there were 16,217 deaths in Singapore, according to the department of statistics. Assuming about 75% of the population here is Chinese, and that peanuts most commonly occur at Chinese funerals, that's at least 12,162.75 times peanuts were served to the bereaved in just 2005 alone.
If each dearly departed was survived by at least one relative, one friend, one spouse or child or parent, all of whom attended the average wake of three days, that works out to 109,464.75 peanut snackers in just one year. (At least.)
About a third of these peanut snackers are there throughout the day -- say, relatives and loved ones -- each of whom eats 30 peanuts after each meal. That works out to 90 peanuts a day. The remaining eat about 30 peanuts at each visit (assuming they attend wakes after dinner).
That's a total of 108,370.105 peanuts in a year at wakes, even with the most modest of estimates. But that sum doesn't account for the really stressful funeral day, on which peanut consumption is likely to double immediately. (If the deceased was very popular, that number may even be tripled.)
The conclusion? Based on current no-carb dieting trends that recommend eating peanuts (high fat) to lose weight, it is clear how funerals directly cause weight loss among the bereaved, even if they are stress eaters who are likely to pick at anything snackable under duress (in this instance, peanuts).
Alternatively, the truly morbid weight watcher can logically shed unwanted pounds by dining only at wakes and funerals...
Alibaba.com lists Peanuts-In-Shell details from Lord (China supplier):
1) Specification: 9-11, 11-13
2) Moisture: 8.5% max.
3) Imperfect grains: 5.5% max.
4) Admixture: 0.5% max.
5) Aflatoxin: 4ppb
Packing: 50kg/gunny bag
My personal survey of at least eight funerals in the last three years has revealed strong evidence to support this theory: no fresher peanuts-in-shells exist anywhere else than at Singapore funerals.
They just are that way, because they never have to keep.
Last year, there were 16,217 deaths in Singapore, according to the department of statistics. Assuming about 75% of the population here is Chinese, and that peanuts most commonly occur at Chinese funerals, that's at least 12,162.75 times peanuts were served to the bereaved in just 2005 alone.
If each dearly departed was survived by at least one relative, one friend, one spouse or child or parent, all of whom attended the average wake of three days, that works out to 109,464.75 peanut snackers in just one year. (At least.)
About a third of these peanut snackers are there throughout the day -- say, relatives and loved ones -- each of whom eats 30 peanuts after each meal. That works out to 90 peanuts a day. The remaining eat about 30 peanuts at each visit (assuming they attend wakes after dinner).
That's a total of 108,370.105 peanuts in a year at wakes, even with the most modest of estimates. But that sum doesn't account for the really stressful funeral day, on which peanut consumption is likely to double immediately. (If the deceased was very popular, that number may even be tripled.)
The conclusion? Based on current no-carb dieting trends that recommend eating peanuts (high fat) to lose weight, it is clear how funerals directly cause weight loss among the bereaved, even if they are stress eaters who are likely to pick at anything snackable under duress (in this instance, peanuts).
Alternatively, the truly morbid weight watcher can logically shed unwanted pounds by dining only at wakes and funerals...
Alibaba.com lists Peanuts-In-Shell details from Lord (China supplier):
1) Specification: 9-11, 11-13
2) Moisture: 8.5% max.
3) Imperfect grains: 5.5% max.
4) Admixture: 0.5% max.
5) Aflatoxin: 4ppb
Packing: 50kg/gunny bag
Peaceful Pig's two cents' posted 4/24/2006 11:28:00 pm
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